不知不觉中, 我们拖拖拉拉的也过快8个月了. 事情还是没怎样. 我们两都选着逃避. 我也已经搞不清我们到底是什么身分了. 这样的日子好难过. 不知该高兴或伤心. 我真不懂为何还保留这段也许无法再能象从前一样的感情. 放手却心好痛, 坚持却觉得自己好傻. 我真怕我会很后悔. 我真怕我无法开始另一段新的感情.
想起我们, 自己却掉了眼泪. 总觉得自己好白痴又为了你而哭. 我真的很想大哭一场. 心好痛. 看着你, 就想起你所说的谎言, 你所做的事. 我不敢面对你. 可能是我不会面对你吧. 我选着离开, 但你选着坚持. 我很害怕当我回心转意的时候, 你却决定放手了. 我无法再接受多一刀了.
看我们两的照片, 心总觉得酸酸的. 我问我自己, 我们为何会这样呢? 我不断的怪自己. 或许吧, 这段距离也许能让一切一了百了.
谢谢你一路的忍耐. 对不起, 给不到你所要得.
谢谢这个女人已替了我来陪伴你.
一个人在这里, 真的好难过日子. 只好能忍着不在朋友的面前掉眼泪.
告诉自己, '刘玲施! 你是能的!' :)
Friday, February 10, 2012
Tuesday, February 07, 2012
A picture paints a thousand words.
It hurts when I look at our photos. How I wish we could be the same as in the photos.
All of our photos reminds me of how happy we were before. But now, it isn't the same anymore.
好几次, 我们抱着彼此都是想要哭.
All of our photos reminds me of how happy we were before. But now, it isn't the same anymore.
好几次, 我们抱着彼此都是想要哭.
Saturday, December 17, 2011
My First Thanksgiving.
Greetings! If you're wondering where have I been, well, where and what can I do besides studying? :( Sad life I know. If anyone decides to be an engineer and studying in the States, think twice. Anyway, leave the sad life aside. How was your Thanksgiving? Mine went awesome because I went shopping! :D Yes, I spent a lot and I'm broke. I didn't get much for myself, but as for my family members, you guys are lucky. I went San Marcos and San Antonio, which is about 8 hours drive from where I am. San Marcos Premium Outlets is the third largest outlet in US so it is really big. The brand you can think of, it's there! To say cheap, definitely it is cheap! Comparing not only dollar to dollar, even after conversion for currency, it is still cheap! And yes, I bought a lot. Bags, glasses, shirts, shoes...and the list goes on. :) Enough said, pictures time!
For San Antonio, River Walk is the most famous place in there. We spent one night there. Below are some pictures I took.
And these are the views when I ride on the boat.
As for San Marcos, not much time for pictures. We shopped from 9pm to 7am. Black Friday is awesome! :)
Well, do you think I had an awesome time? ;) I practically shopped till I dropped!
Got to know some new friends during this trip. Overall, I had an awesome and great time! :) It's a new experience for me too to be shopping from midnight til the next morning. I will definitely give it another try again next time.
Since now is the end of Fall 2011 semester, I will be free to post more updates till winter break is over! Till then, chaoz! :D
For San Antonio, River Walk is the most famous place in there. We spent one night there. Below are some pictures I took.
 |
| River Walk map |
 |
| the magic mirror |
 |
| Ducklings everywhere! |
 |
| The Undertaker |
 |
| Hooters o.0 |
 |
| The view |
 |
| The River Taxi |
And these are the views when I ride on the boat.
 |
| The port |
 |
| the group without Jeremy |
 |
| The art there is made from small little color tiles. |
As for San Marcos, not much time for pictures. We shopped from 9pm to 7am. Black Friday is awesome! :)
 |
| If you think that this is a crowd, you're wrong. It's the queue to enter Coach. :D |
 |
| this is only the first car's boot. |
 |
| this is the second car's boot |
 |
| these are from only the girls. |
Well, do you think I had an awesome time? ;) I practically shopped till I dropped!
Got to know some new friends during this trip. Overall, I had an awesome and great time! :) It's a new experience for me too to be shopping from midnight til the next morning. I will definitely give it another try again next time.
Since now is the end of Fall 2011 semester, I will be free to post more updates till winter break is over! Till then, chaoz! :D
Friday, October 28, 2011
I'm Just A Nobody.
Probably I'm just a nobody. I tried in many ways to get back what I owned but I don't know why it just didn't work. Probably I should try committing suicide. I think that is when you will give a look on me and care for a moment and leave me after you're tired of it.
I really feel useless and dumb. Trust are filled with lies, faith are filled with fake emotions and promise are just wind that just come and go in seconds.
Well, it's dumb to even say the word "suicide". But at times, I understand for why people chose suicide than facing it.
I think I should go to bed and stop thinking. :)
I really feel useless and dumb. Trust are filled with lies, faith are filled with fake emotions and promise are just wind that just come and go in seconds.
Well, it's dumb to even say the word "suicide". But at times, I understand for why people chose suicide than facing it.
I think I should go to bed and stop thinking. :)
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
I'm still alive!
I tried to update my blog last 2 weeks but I didn't complete typing. So here it goes today!
It has been 2 months since I last updated and also it has been 2 months since I'm in the States. I'm still alive here, no worries about that. I didn't post much about my life here. Studying here is pretty hectic so I don't have much time to relax. Even if I do have time, I just wanna rest and not sitting down in front of the laptop to think what to write in my blog. :)
Today, I chose to update my blog is not because that I'm free, I'm feeling totally down today which I got no idea why either. :( It's just a sudden feeling that rush to me this morning when I woke up. I told one of my seniors, he said it's normal at times. As we are living alone outside in a foreign world, we don't have anyone here and all by ourselves. During the period when you stress with assignments or exams coming up and you don't know where to go and who to talk to. Friends are busy with their things too and you wouldn't want to bother them. Family, well, you wouldn't want them to worry. As for boyfriend, well, probably the distance is causing problems too.
I'm lucky enough to have seniors here that took well care of me. From studies to choices, even to personal problems. I was having problems the other day where I broke down, everyone of them send me a personal message touched my heart. "Hope you're alright. If there's anything we can do, please let us know. Outside here, friends are family. We'll be there for you." That is really nice of them.
This week, I've got 3 tests, 3 days continuously. Even though there are tests, there will also be assignments due. Life is great as an engineer. All I ever did since I came here was study, study and study. As for business major students, all they do is party, party and party. The stress here is so enormous that you don't even know what to do besides studying when you have time. To enter the professional school in OSU, a 3.0 GPA will not guarantee you a place. Quota per year for students to enter professional school is only 100. Do the math and study your nuts out. If you think that is ridiculous, what about knowing that only 35% of the people manage to graduate out of here. Awesome, isn't it? :)
I've changed my major into a dual major, Mechanical and Aerospace Engineering (MAE). I'm just in sophomore year where I'm far behind already. If I succeed in going into professional school without any delay, I may graduate in 2014. So, wish me luck!
I'll try to update as frequent as possible!
It has been 2 months since I last updated and also it has been 2 months since I'm in the States. I'm still alive here, no worries about that. I didn't post much about my life here. Studying here is pretty hectic so I don't have much time to relax. Even if I do have time, I just wanna rest and not sitting down in front of the laptop to think what to write in my blog. :)
Today, I chose to update my blog is not because that I'm free, I'm feeling totally down today which I got no idea why either. :( It's just a sudden feeling that rush to me this morning when I woke up. I told one of my seniors, he said it's normal at times. As we are living alone outside in a foreign world, we don't have anyone here and all by ourselves. During the period when you stress with assignments or exams coming up and you don't know where to go and who to talk to. Friends are busy with their things too and you wouldn't want to bother them. Family, well, you wouldn't want them to worry. As for boyfriend, well, probably the distance is causing problems too.
I'm lucky enough to have seniors here that took well care of me. From studies to choices, even to personal problems. I was having problems the other day where I broke down, everyone of them send me a personal message touched my heart. "Hope you're alright. If there's anything we can do, please let us know. Outside here, friends are family. We'll be there for you." That is really nice of them.
This week, I've got 3 tests, 3 days continuously. Even though there are tests, there will also be assignments due. Life is great as an engineer. All I ever did since I came here was study, study and study. As for business major students, all they do is party, party and party. The stress here is so enormous that you don't even know what to do besides studying when you have time. To enter the professional school in OSU, a 3.0 GPA will not guarantee you a place. Quota per year for students to enter professional school is only 100. Do the math and study your nuts out. If you think that is ridiculous, what about knowing that only 35% of the people manage to graduate out of here. Awesome, isn't it? :)
I've changed my major into a dual major, Mechanical and Aerospace Engineering (MAE). I'm just in sophomore year where I'm far behind already. If I succeed in going into professional school without any delay, I may graduate in 2014. So, wish me luck!
I'll try to update as frequent as possible!
Sunday, August 21, 2011
Trust and Faith.
I seriously hate it every single time when you just pretend that nothing ever happened. Saying out all the things I don't wanna know. Seriously, is that it? Don't try to be stupid and say I would snap because of the truth. I've done my role as who you wanted me to be. If I still couldn't satisfy your needs, I'm sorry.
No matter where am I, FML.
I can't do anything, can I? :) Teach me what to do besides having trust and faith.
No matter where am I, FML.
I can't do anything, can I? :) Teach me what to do besides having trust and faith.
Saturday, August 20, 2011
Greetings from USA!
Greetings from the States. :) I'm doing fine here, beside being homesick and missing my friends and family, I'm overall fine.
I finally touched down here in Oklahoma on the August 13 after sitting 24 hours of flight. 2 transits, 5 hours each. In total, 34 hours. I'm dead when I touched down. Reached Oklahoma City, I have to hop in a car for another an hour and half to reach Stillwater, where my university is located. GOSH! Since then, my backbone has been killing me. Salonpas saved me a little. :)
I'm in here for a week now. Got to know my seniors and some new friends. The orientation here is super boring. From what Desmond says, international orientation sucks. HAHA! The food is here is OK for me. Nice food here are fast food. Asian food is like those normal hawker food back in Malaysia. All of their food are salty and sweet. GOSH! Now I know why are they fat and have so much problems with their body system. The great thing here is, the Subway here serve pork! :D They got more choices here, not as boring as Malaysia. Overall, the food here is not as good as what we have back home. I'm just here for a week, so it's still too early to judge.
I went for an interview to work on campus just now. It's so different from the interview we have. :) It's a new experience for me tho. Let's just cross our fingers that I can get the job to cover my expenses. They pay really good money. I work on the front desk in stadium dining, they pay like 8.50 dollars an hour. Not forgetting, I'm getting my tips too. I have to work at least 10 hours on game days, so let's just do the math. Convert that back to Malaysian Ringgit, it's like RM 300 a day at least. Hope I get to work more hours next time.
The things here are cheap if we don't convert back to Malaysian Ringgit. :) I spent less than 300 dollars to get everything. Laundry bag, shoes, clothes, kettles, bed sheets, pillow, electronics; the necessity you need to survive here is cheap! Except for the food if we do the conversion. HAHA!
I met my housemates, both from Tulsa, Oklahoma. I don't have a roommate yet, so it's great to have a room all by yourself. I need to socialize more. I want to find more hot 'ang moh' so I can look forward to something. :P Sorry baby, you know I still love you the most! ♥
I think that's about my life here currently. I'll try to upload some pictures soon. My classes are starting on the August 22. Hope I could cope. Gonna make my parents proud. :) That's bout it. Heading to the gym to make me look hotter. :P I'll try to update more often!
PS: The weather here is killing me! It's 5.30pm and it's like 12-1pm where the sun is scorching hot out there back in Malaysia! OH GOD, KILL ME!
I finally touched down here in Oklahoma on the August 13 after sitting 24 hours of flight. 2 transits, 5 hours each. In total, 34 hours. I'm dead when I touched down. Reached Oklahoma City, I have to hop in a car for another an hour and half to reach Stillwater, where my university is located. GOSH! Since then, my backbone has been killing me. Salonpas saved me a little. :)
I'm in here for a week now. Got to know my seniors and some new friends. The orientation here is super boring. From what Desmond says, international orientation sucks. HAHA! The food is here is OK for me. Nice food here are fast food. Asian food is like those normal hawker food back in Malaysia. All of their food are salty and sweet. GOSH! Now I know why are they fat and have so much problems with their body system. The great thing here is, the Subway here serve pork! :D They got more choices here, not as boring as Malaysia. Overall, the food here is not as good as what we have back home. I'm just here for a week, so it's still too early to judge.
I went for an interview to work on campus just now. It's so different from the interview we have. :) It's a new experience for me tho. Let's just cross our fingers that I can get the job to cover my expenses. They pay really good money. I work on the front desk in stadium dining, they pay like 8.50 dollars an hour. Not forgetting, I'm getting my tips too. I have to work at least 10 hours on game days, so let's just do the math. Convert that back to Malaysian Ringgit, it's like RM 300 a day at least. Hope I get to work more hours next time.
The things here are cheap if we don't convert back to Malaysian Ringgit. :) I spent less than 300 dollars to get everything. Laundry bag, shoes, clothes, kettles, bed sheets, pillow, electronics; the necessity you need to survive here is cheap! Except for the food if we do the conversion. HAHA!
I met my housemates, both from Tulsa, Oklahoma. I don't have a roommate yet, so it's great to have a room all by yourself. I need to socialize more. I want to find more hot 'ang moh' so I can look forward to something. :P Sorry baby, you know I still love you the most! ♥
I think that's about my life here currently. I'll try to upload some pictures soon. My classes are starting on the August 22. Hope I could cope. Gonna make my parents proud. :) That's bout it. Heading to the gym to make me look hotter. :P I'll try to update more often!
PS: The weather here is killing me! It's 5.30pm and it's like 12-1pm where the sun is scorching hot out there back in Malaysia! OH GOD, KILL ME!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)